Home   >   Ask the Expert   >   Journey to the center of the universe

Journey to the center of the universe

By on April 30, 2008

If you’re a mom or a dad currently raising a pre-schooler, you’ve probably found that raising one is full of both positive and not so great experiences. In order to truly enjoy being a parent, the enjoyable and rewarding aspects of the responsibility of motherhood or fatherhood should far outweigh the frustrating and anxiety provoking ones. As children are constantly developing in various aspects of their being, knowing the social and emotional development of your child, and effective means of parenting one, makes all the difference in how you view and experience the wonders of parenthood.

PRESCHOOLERS:

ARE EGOCENTRIC. They are currently at a developmental stage where they are at “the center of the universe.” It is crucial that parents listen carefully, praise as often as possible, and accept the preschooler’s individuality as much as they can.

WANT TO FEEL PROUD. They are still trying to figure out how they can do things and if they can be successful. Trying out various activities, challenging new and different tasks, and experiencing a variety of situations, all help a child develop self-confidence, when positively supported by parents.

ARE SENSITIVE. They are very in-tune with how people react to them, especially their parents, whom they usually love the “mostest in the whole wide world.” Offer your child lots of love, attention, acceptance, positive atmosphere, warmth, tenderness, affection, and support.

ARE JUST STARTING TO LEARN MANY THINGS. They are novices and amateurs at most anything they try. Giving the preschooler time and space to make mistakes, and learn at his/her own pace is okay, and necessary.

NEED STIMULATION. They are born as very curious beings. Providing your child with an environment full of different experiences and stimulating all five senses helps your child develop in all areas of self.

NEED TO MOVE AROUND. They are not developmentally ready to be sitting still for long periods of time. Exploring, manipulating, and learning should be done actively, not just by sitting in a chair at a table. Playing with various objects and toys in different ways is much more educative than “worksheets” for a child at this age.

ARE CURIOUS AND TALKATIVE. Silence is not necessarily golden for children this age. By asking questions and “babbling” about anything and everything, children learn and understand.

NEED REGULAR PEER CONTACT. By age three, most children benefit from some form of regular social contact, such as nursery school or play groups. Playing with other children even one day a week provides opportunities to practice and develop important social, emotional, and language skills. Children learn to share, cooperate, and negotiate as they interact with their peers.

ARE LEARNING SELF-CONTROL. Gaining self-control is one of the biggest challenges that children face between the ages of two and five. Children need guidance, clear limits, and patient parents during this time of behavioral and emotional struggles.

As a parent, you enhance your preschool child’s development in countless ways, the most important of which is being affectionate and conveying your love. You guide your children through the challenges of this important time of life by talking and reading to them, providing opportunities for play, playing pretend with them, showing them how to get dressed or use the toilet, and setting boundaries and limits to their behavior.

Tokyo Families welcomes questions for this column. Send them to info@tokyofamilies.net. No personal replies are possible.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Akiko J. Ohnogi (Psy. D) is a lecturer at the International Christian University graduate school of psychology and also runs a private practice. She specializes in working with children and families through play therapy and parent education. Having lives and worked in both the US and Japan, she is fully bilingual and bicultural. www.dr-ohnogi.com

About Dr. Akiko J. Ohnogi