Are you a Super Dad?

By on August 21, 2018

Picture the scene: you are out with a young child or infant in need of a toilet.

Either your nose does the detective work or the child in question is now old enough to tell you they are in need of a bathroom – and as any parent knows, the time you have to find that bathroom is usually measured in seconds, not minutes.

Looking around for a moment, you spot the usual pink / blue figures indicating female / male and thus the direction of the nearest restrooms. “Phew,” you mutter to yourself as you start walking at speed in the necessary direction. Problem solved you may be thinking – but bear with me – and mentally go back to the beginning for a moment.

Imagine you – as a father – are out with a young child or infant in need of a toilet, etc. For whatever reason, your spouse or partner is not with you this time. That doesn’t stop your child’s bodily functions from (don’t they always) choosing the most inopportune moment possible to move into ‘drive’, does it?

The fact that you, a lone father for the day, or for longer, are in a city and a nation geared primarily towards maternal care of kids, however, is a major factor in planning any trip beyond the front door as all having risen to the challenge will attest.

Of course, ignoring the frequent stares fathers, and foreign fathers particularly so, attract when out alone with their child is one thing. Ignoring the make-up of a city so attuned to pairing kids solely with moms should diapers need changing, bottles need giving or little Johnny need winding, is another thing altogether.

Ever considered entering a female toilet as that is the only place nearby a fold-down kiddy changing table is to be found? Yep is the resounding answer from this dad and I am sure many others. Ironically this is more often than not the case in many of the family restaurants dotted around Tokyo! Let me repeat that – FAMILY restaurants!

Ever been faced with the staff, straight-faced and bewildered at the question being asked of them in the first place, turning round and asking you, “Dad, why can’t you return home, change the little ‘un and then return to your table?” Yep once more!

Of course, as you just about manage to keep a lid on the desire to throttle the staffer in question, have you ever asked them to escort you into the women’s restroom as the odor your mite is now emitting is starting to make those at nearby tables cough, their eyes sting, and, once inside, having the staffer walk away on you when your back is turned as you rush through the remove it, bag it, replace it process? Check number three!

Tokyo may be many things to many people, and the wide-door toilets providing access to the disabled sometimes have baby changing facilities now, but kid(s) plus dads when mom is on a well-deserved stay-at-home or out on her own, is still something you really have to go through to fully comprehend.

There are of course other issues in which the sex of the parent plays no role – bar perhaps in the sometimes limited physical strength of many mothers compared to fathers. Perhaps the best example would be the escalator going up positioned beside a huge flight of stairs – and stickers telling you ‘NO PUSHCHAIRS’ – noticeable just as the next half-dozen pedestrians line up behind you to use said escalator. Not too much of a problem when the mini-one is still very young and the parent in question has no other children pulling on their sleeves or skirts, is reasonably strong and doesn’t mind the exercise! But when baby is no longer baby and he or she is up there around the 10-15 kg mark? Kid plus stroller plus bags, plus older sibling? Yeah, right!

Add to that the minor annoyance about many of Tokyo’s subway stations lacking escalators (presuming, like most, you ignore the stickers in the first place) in the first place, and the lone(ly) elevator being 150 meters down the other end of the platform, and you can see why lone parents of either sex find it less than appealing to make multi-change trips across town to visit friends.

Of course, this doesn’t even begin to address the profiteering mentality behind hotels refusing bookings from a lone parent wanting to spend a night away with his / her child; hotels in Japan routinely refuse such a guest make-up when taking reservations – particularly in the busier holiday seasons. Profits (of two adults paying more) are one thing… the rights of single / lone moms & dads – quite another altogether, but that’s one for another time, and in Tokyo, presumably another century.

YOU’RE A SUPERDAD IF YOU…

1. Put together a great day out at a moment’s notice.
2. Whip up a tasty meal without the convenience store.
3. Take a pushchair into a No-Go zone.
4. Don’t leave the washing in the machine all day.
5. Realize you can’t make it without SUPERMOM!

About Mark Buckton