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When babies won’t sleep.

By on July 10, 2020

Wide-awake-at-night babies drive first-time parents nuts.  The reality of having a new baby can be quite a shock: Total disruption of married and home life by the arrival of a vulnerable-looking little creature with a loud voice who demands immediate attention!  

The baby doesn’t care about social hours, and the need to be fed, changed, and cuddled seems unending.  Disturbed sleep night after night can produce a state of exhaustion in the parents.

While there is no simple answer to this situation, some hints may help.

First of all, keep in mind that it won’t go on forever.  The first few weeks are likely to be the worst, and then most babies settle into a routine of sleeping and feeding, so that one knows one may be able to get a little rest at least.  Secondly, when the baby sleeps, you sleep!  It doesn’t matter if the dishes need to be done – that is the husband’s job!  

During the night, it may help to take the baby into your bed.  In Japan, where traditionally everyone sleeps together on a futon, this seems the natural thing to do – and the baby cannot fall out of bed since you are already on the floor.  Young babies need the physical presence of the mother, ideally 24 hours a day; the skin to skin contact which is so important for their security.  

 

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I often hear of the scenario where with a great deal of effort in soothing and cuddling the baby, he at last falls asleep and is carefully put down in his own cot.  The mother has just drifted off herself when the crying starts again; you get out of bed, pick him up, and eventually settle him down again, only for the cycle to be repeated soon after.  If the baby is in the same bed with you, he doesn’t need to wake up fully and get into top gear crying, for just the reassurance of the mother’s closeness and warmth, or a breast-feed, will often be enough for him to go back to sleep.  By the way, whatever happened to the rocking cradle?

As a last resort, there is one strategy that rarely fails: Taking a ride in the car.  I write from personal experience of raising three children close together in ages.  It is quite interesting cruising around Tokyo at three o’clock in the morning! 

Read also:

How much sleep do children really need?

About Dr. Gabriel Symonds

Dr. Gabriel Symonds was the director of the Tokyo British Clinic. The clinic closed down in May 2014 after serving the expatriate community for 20+ years. Dr. Symonds has retired and the Tokyo British Clinic is now closed. Dr Symonds will continue to live in Tokyo and may be contacted by e-mail over any questions concerning medical records or related matters: symonds@tokyobritishclinic.com He will be available from another address for: smoking cessation psychotherapy/counselling circumcision information Tel: (03) 5458-6099 www.tokyobritishclinic.com