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Raise a kid who loves school
Conquering first-day fears
What your child thinks: “Wow, this is place is HUGE! What if I get lost?”
What your child thinks: “Geez, this teacher sure has a lot of rules about where things should go and how I should behave. I hope I don’t get in trouble.”
What your child thinks: “I’m not used to going to the bathroom with other people. What if the stall door won’t lock? Or worse, I get locked in! I hope I don’t have an accident!”Calm those concerns: Your kid’s probably not the only one worried about this, but the important thing to remind him is that he’s not on his own. “Keep reinforcing that his teacher is there to help, just like a parent. If he’s unsure about something, like how to lock the stall door, he can privately ask for help,” says Robert Pianta, Ph.D., dean of the University of Virginia’s Curry School of Education. You can help out by choosing outfits that make bathroom breaks a breeze. And don’t make a fuss if he has an accident: Kids this age often get wrapped up in their activities and don’t realize how badly they need to go until it’s too late.
What your child thinks: “I don’t know anyone, so I won’t have a friend to play with.”Calm those concerns: If your child’s school allows it, get a roster of her new classmates and arrange a play date or two before the school year starts. Even if they don’t become fast friends, just knowing a familiar face can help. Remind her of past experiences, perhaps at daycare, where she didn’t know anyone at first. Reassure her that she’s not the only child in class who’s nervous about making friends and offer a few suggestions, such as: “Wouldn’t it be fun if you asked a classmate to jump rope with you tomorrow at recess?”
What your child thinks: “There’s so much stuff at the lunch line—silverware, drinks, and food that looks weird to me.” OR “I can’t open my thermos, and I’m afraid I’m going to spill my drink.”
Mornings easily can be the most chaotic time of your child’s school day—if you don’t do a little advanced planning. A great day doesn’t magically fall into place when the alarm goes off; rather it begins with careful planning the night before. Professional organizer Stephanie Voss, founder of The Organized Parent (www.theorganizedparent.com) and mom to two boys ages 9 and 14, offers these tips for putting the “good” into your child’s morning.
Help with homework. Make it a rule that your child completes his school work the same day he brings it home. Mornings aren’t the time to tackle this task.
Pack lunches. Pre-pack items like carrot sticks, grapes and pretzels in plastic bags for the entire week. You can make some sandwiches early too. Cold cuts work well (add condiments that morning), but Vozza suggests fixing PB&J in the morning since the bread can get soggy.Check your calendar. Before ushering the kids into bed, see what activities are on tomorrow’s schedule, and have them get ready.Say goodnight. Stick to a calming bedtime routine (try bath, books, songs and then tuck-in time), so your child falls asleep easily and doesn’t wake up tired and cranky.
Plan for breakfast. Set cereal, bowls and spoons on the table, cut up fruit, and make sure breakfast items like cereal, yogurt and granola bars are easily reachable.
An a+ morning
Get your head in the game. Wake up before your child does so you have time to mentally prepare for the day without interruptions.
Factor in extra wake-up time. If your child’s a slow riser, add some additional minutes into his morning. Better yet, buy an alarm clock and make him responsible for starting his day.
Establish a routine. Use words or pictures to detail your child’s morning tasks (for example: brush teeth, comb hair, and make bed) and post the chart on his bedroom door. Keep it simple, but helpful. “The goal is to get your child to know it by heart and follow through without you constantly barking orders,” says Vozza.
Silence distractions. TV, video games and computers only add to morning chaos while distracting your child from the main task: Getting ready for school. Establish (and stick to) a “no electronics” rule on school mornings.
Say goodbye with a smile. Even if, despite everyone’s best efforts, the morning is a little frenzied, always take the time to give your child a hug, a smile and some encouragement to have a great day. You want your child (and you) to start the day on a friendly, not frantic, note.
School bus basics
Your first-time rider either thinks it’s the coolest thing since pop rocks or rates it scarier than the big rat character at the local pizza place. If your child’s of the latter camp, you can soothe her worries and ensure that her trips to and from school are safe ones, with these travel tips.
Many schools provide bus orientation sessions before the school year starts. Take a few practice rides together and point out all the fun things about riding a bus: The seats are big, so she can sit with a friend. She sits up high so she can look out!
Make sure you and your child know the driver’s name and her bus number. Get the driver’s contact information, as well as that of the school transportation coordinator’s, in case of emergencies.Report problems
Let the driver and your school principal know if your child’s being bullied by other riders or if you hear of conduct problems like swearing.
Ask an older child from your neighborhood to ride the bus with yours for the first week or so of school, or if you feel she’s being picked on. Get to know the parents of other riders and work together to supervise bus stops to ensure there’s no misconduct or rough-housing while kids wait for the bus.
Make sure jackets and backpacks have no loose drawstrings or long straps that could get caught in the handrail or bus door.
Taking the wrong bus home or getting off at the wrong stop are classic kid fears. Assure her that a teacher or teacher’s helper will see her off the bus at school, as well as make sure she gets on the right one at the end of the day. The driver will guide her when it’s time to come home.Remind your child—repeatedly—of these critical safety rules:
• Stop, stay on the sidewalk.
• Don’t rush for the bus. The driver will open the door only when the bus is at a complete stop, so instruct your child to wait for this cue before moving toward the bus.
• Always obey the bus driver.
• Walk in front of, not behind the bus.
• Be alert to traffic.
• Never stand up or walk on a moving bus. Use a seat belt if one’s provided.
• Hold onto the hand rail when getting off the bus.
• Don’t stop to pick up dropped items (bending over makes her invisible to the driver) or go back to the bus to retrieve an item (again, the driver may not see her).
• Assure her you truly won’t be mad if something’s left behind.
Your kid’s finally home from school and you can’t wait to hear about her day, but the “fines” and “goods” she utters sure leave out a lot of details. Find out what’s really going on with these friendly conversation starters. Wait.
Take the focus off of school. Your child may not be forthcoming about things that upset her—like if she’s being bullied or having problems focusing at school—when asked direct questions. But she’ll probably open up and share things that are bothering her once she’s involved in other activities, such as baking or playing board games, says Olson.Listen, listen, listen. Once your child starts talking about her day, hold off on asking more questions and let her talk. “As parents, we tend to jump in and hurry kids along to the next topic. Pausing and listening are important. Your child’s confidence will grow when she sees you’re genuinely interested in her day.