Home   >   In Focus   >   Love thermometer: are you a hot couple?

Love thermometer: are you a hot couple?

By on February 3, 2013

 

Children have a way of getting in between you and your partner’s intimate life but studies show that passion is arguably one of the surest ways to keep stress in check.  We surveyed 52 couples in the last six months to see how having kids have affected their response to their love lives and how they think it has affected their partners. Here are the results.

1. What was the cause of increased stress after having kids?
Too much time on electronic gadgets and leisure activities

Men: 12%  Women: 7%
Parenting skills stress
Men: 7%  Women: 9%
Intimacy becoming less frequent
Men: 18%      Women: 7%
Scheduling issues
Men: 16%  Women: 17%
Childcare demands
Men: 14%  Women: 12%
Lack of time for self
Men: 14%  Women: 21%
Worries about money

Men: 21%  Women: 20%

2. How has your show of affection changed toward your partner since the arrival of kids?
Increased        Men: 25%  Women: 20%
Decreased    Men: 60%  Women: 49%
Did not change        Men: 21%  Women: 37%

3. What do you think is the cause of your partner’s stress?
Intimacy less frequent    Men: 3%  Women: 21%
Scheduling issues        Men: 11%  Women: 10%
Childcare demands        Men: 43%  Women: 10%
Lack of time for self        Men: 18%  Women: 8%
Worries about money    Men: 11%  Women: 35%
Stress over parenting skills    Men: 5%   Women: 7%

4. How many times do you think physical intimacy between you and your partner should be?
Zero to three    Men: 2%   Women: 5%
Four to six    Men: 13% Women: 21%
Seven to nine    Men: 22%  Women: 20%
Ten or more    Men: 61%  Women: 54%

5. How many times do you think your partner would like to?
Zero to three    Men: 47%  Women: 9%
Four to six    Men: 21%  Women: 10%
Seven to nine    Men: 10%  Women: 7%
Ten or more    Men: 20%  Women: 70%

6. How many times a month did you and your partner have intimate time before and after the arrival of the kids?
Zero to three    Before kids: 47%   After kids: 8%
Four to six    Before kids: 30%   After kids: 23%
Seven to nine    Before kids: 12%   After kids: 23%
Ten or more    Before kids: 45%   After kids: 11%

7. What do you most attribute this decline to?
Lack of energy        Men: 25%   Women: 41%
Not having enough time    Men: 15%   Women: 15%
I don’t have the desire    Men: 5%   Women: 32%
Partner has no desire    Men: 52%   Women: 11%
Inconvenience due to lack of privacy at home    Men: 35%   Women: 42%

About Tokyo Families