Letting Go

By on January 1, 2014

I finally did it! Their furry faces with big black eyes have been sitting in the corner of my basement for many years. Every time I looked at them I experienced a combination of feeling sentimental and annoyed. Sentimental because they have been a part of my life since I was a child. Annoyed because up until now I have been unable to say goodbye to my furry dust collecting friends. Yesterday, in an effort to bring in the new year with less clutter in my home, I hurriedly (before I changed my mind), placed them in a clear plastic bag and knotted it. I stopped for a second to loosen the knot so as to let some air in lest they suffocate (as if!) and then marched outside, triumphantly placing them at the back of the garage. So, at last my large teddy bear with his floppy head (all the stuffing has somehow gravitated downwards), and his pal – the big eyed monkey – have taken a step out of my life. But not completely – quite yet! When I’m having a hard time parting with something that is sentimental, I remove it from my life in stages. The first step is removing it from my immediate sight. So, putting the once beloved stuffed animals into a garbage bag is the first step. In time I will no longer miss them, but for now as I am letting go, there is still comfort in knowing that they are not gone completely. Then, after a period of time – and so long as I don’t look into the bag and feel that familiar pang of longing – I am able to add the bag to the donations I give to several charities throughout the year. For now, seeing the empty space where the pair of stuffed animals sat for so many years actually feels good. As any Feng Shui book will tell you, the removal of these “objects” along with other less sentimental pieces, has allowed the air to flow more freely around the room. When I walk into the basement, or any other area of the house that has been uncluttered, I feel a greater sense of harmony and peace. I don’t feel bogged down by so many “things”. As we usher in the new year, you may also want to take time to think about what to do with all the unnecessary “things” in your world. Getting rid of what you never use, want or need is liberating. It’s hard to let go of “stuff” – especially when it harbours memories – but when you do, you will likely be glad you did. Happy New Year and all the best for 2014!

About Sara Dimerman (aka HelpMeSara)

Sara Dimerman has been an individual, couple and family therapist for over twenty years. She is one of North America’s most trusted parenting and relationship experts and the author of three books – ‘Am I A Normal Parent?’, ‘Character Is the Key’ and a book for couples – ‘How can I be your Lover when I’m too Busy Being your Mother?’ Learn more or listen to advice from Sara and her colleagues by searching for ‘helpmesara’ podcasts on iTunes or by visiting www.helpmesara.com. Check out her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/saradimermanhelpmesara or follow Sara on Twitter @helpmesara.